I went out of town last week to spend some much-needed relaxation time with friends. I returned feeling blessed I have a husband who lets me do that and joyful to return home to my little family.
Before I left I bought Abe about 15 matchbox cars, or CAW as he calls them. I bought them used from a local kiddie consignment shop because I refuse to pay $1 per car when I can get them for $.25 and all I have to do is dig the crusty applesauce out of the wheel wells. When I returned home from my vacay, there were 2 cars. IN THE WHOLE HOUSE. I searched every drawer, under every pillow, behind every dresser. What invisible force is stealing all the cars? And why can’t it wipe down the refrigerator shelves when I’m not looking?
I laid down on the floor next to Abe so that we could play with 2 cars. I watched his sweet little eyes studying the wheels, the way they turned, the way they’d spin when he flicked them. Then I watched him slowly push one little orange car into the bass-port (hole) of the subwoofer in our living room. I reached out and said, “Abe! You lost all your other cars! You don’t want to lose this one, too!” He screamed (argued) and pushed the car in again. “Abe, if you do that you’re going to lose your car.”
Did he listen? Nooooo. He was all I do what I WANT. And plop. The car rolled all the way in to the speaker.
“Caw?” he asked.
“Yep. Your car is lost now.”
“Caw?! CAW?! CAAAW?!” he asked frantically.
“Ok, ok, let me try and get it out.” I picked up the subwoofer, turned it over, and like a rainstick with a thousand little nails inside creating the soft pitter patter of warm Florida summer afternoon showers, I listened to a small army of matchbox cars make their way from the top to the bottom of the inside of the subwoofer. I looked at Abe in disbelief. He smiled.
I tried shaking the cars out until I worked up a sweat but I couldn’t get them perfectly lined up with the hole. I waited for Dad to get home to find out if it was safe to take this thing apart because, God knows, if I broke one of his 400+ speakers I couldn’t live with myself. He took the back of the speaker off and this is what we found:
In total, we found 9 matchbox cars inside the subwoofer. And for Abe, it was like Hannukah. Or Christmas. Or whatever religion we are. He lined them up on the coffee table and played with them like old friends it’d been years since he’d seen. He has been lining them up like a parking lot for the past 2 days, overjoyed to have all his little buddies back. I’m thinking we should check the Honda’s exhaust pipe next. And maybe the bathtub spigot.



3 Comments on Caws

  1. Dave
    June 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm (8 years ago)

    Crusty applesauce. Great band name.

  2. Trace
    June 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm (8 years ago)

    your posts always kill me but this post REALLY just about killed me. I still have that little cry laugh thing going on…. i have to go away from your site and think about death and grief and sorrow and murder to stop it…. nah, still not working….

    • admin
      June 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm (8 years ago)

      Best. Comment. Ever.


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