I’ve been considering putting him into school 5 days a week. Right now I get 2 full days of uninterrupted Abe time. And that is precisely the problem.
I’m supposed to totally love my kid not matter what is happening but right now I just want to pawn him off to someone else for the next 6 months or so. With his amazing, truly unmatched tantrums lately, just take video or Facetime me if he does something cute. Otherwise I’ve got a headache to figure out how to get rid of.
Knowing that my reaction to Abe has been just that, a reaction, I called the director of Abe’s school and asked her for a sit-down. She gladly obliged and lovingly told me that while Abe flourishes in school and is learning so much, I need to enjoy being a mom as much as possible right now because I will miss it. Now, I’ll be honest: all the people who told me I would miss having an infant were wrong. I do not miss that. But I can’t know if I’m going to miss this or not, so I’d better not risk it, right?? The director walked me through about 50 little things I could do around the house to make our time together more enjoyable, bearing in mind that I have to clean, cook, and work at some point as well. Here were some of her suggestions:
1. Build a fort out of pillows.
2. Set up a kiddie pool with toys and kitchen supplies in it.
3. Tear up a bunch of masking tape and hang it all over the room. Let him experiment with it.
4. Shaving cream.
So if it’s any indication of how great a mother I am, my response was, “Oh these are great ideas. Love these. I never thought about doing any of this stuff…” but what I was thinking was Oh dear God, this is going to make the house so messy and require me to clean up so much more than I already do…
I guess we’re getting into that part of life where I just have to let go of the mess and embrace the happiness and joy that it caused. But I’m not going to be happy about it.