1. Used my fingers to wipe the boogers off of my son’s upper lip.
2. Used said fingers to eat lunch without washing first.
3. Cleaned sweet potato out of my kid’s hair using my hands and then, without thinking, licked my hand.
4. Unknowingly took an afternoon nap…in my son’s breakfast banana.
5. Fished dirt and leaves out of my son’s mouth with my pinky.
6. Scraped visible ear wax out of my son’s ear with my finger nail.
7. Found an uneaten Cheerio smashed into my son’s diaper. Almost popped it in my mouth. Didn’t.
8. When my child sticks his tongue out it means he wants a kiss…so I kissed his tongue about 20 times today.
9. I ate the smorgasbord mess that was left on his tray after being served meatball soup, strawberries, noodles, and graham cracker cookies. The cookies were mushy.
10. Kept my child from sticking his fingers in his own poopy diaper by slamming my hand down…in the poopy diaper.