Retrograde

11050166_852182244849576_2100505602168749641_nMercury is ending it’s 3-week long retrograde. What does that mean? It means that Mercury, closest to the sun, sometimes looks like it’s going backwards in the sky because of that way it “laps” Earth. It means that the parts of astrology governed by Mercury (communication) go backwards, too.
Life becomes a mess.
And let me tell you something. The past three weeks of my life have been…a mess.
A big. Old. Mess.
My work began to slow down.
A job I really wanted and was FULLY prepared to interview for suddenly became unavailable.
Miscommunications between myself and Bear, myself and friends, myself and Abraham…everywhere. Miscommunications causing discomfort or pain all over the place.
And then…sabotage.
Did you know that your best intentions are commonly sabotaged during Mercury retrograde?
Without sharing too much drama, Bear’s new job was quite swiftly and with mass confusion…sabotaged. All at once as he began a giant project for his new job, he was let go.
(Did I mention we’re getting married next week?)
“What are we going to do?” I asked him without tears because, frankly, I didn’t even feel like I could cry anymore. I’d lost such hope that I couldn’t imagine the point in crying anymore.
“We’re going to take things back into our own hands again.”
Without an investor, without a loan, without a guarantee, Bear stepped out in HUGE strength, faith, courage, and vulnerability, and he opened his own business.
A day after he was let go.
And that same day, the one where he invested our savings in the beginnings of a brand new business, that other job called me back and told me they’d reopened the position. Could I come in for an interview on Tuesday? Yes. Yes, I could.
I showed up for my interview early and proceeded to participate in 3 private interviews, 2 group interviews, and a short group session taught by yours truly. Five hours. It was an amazing day. I was overwhelmed and wowed and honored to have so many people’s eyes on me, believing in me, asking me questions. I felt so lucky.
I’ll find out if I got the job around the time I get married.
Next week.
Bear has already begun submitting bids, hoping to make enough money to pay at least the part of our mortgage that I can’t yet cover. He’s determined. He’s incredible and so focused. If he was even for a moment discouraged by the injustice or outright malice, he hasn’t once shown it. And he’s the only person in the world I trust to pound the pavement until success starts seeping out.
I spent today finalizing seating arrangements and ordering desserts. I talked out the schedule with the wedding coordinator and remembered I need to buy a microphone. In a middle-finger-to-the-universe moment, I even spent $12 to get my car washed. Money I probably should have used for dinner.
Mercury is in retrograde until May 22. My life has been twisted all up, flipped around all over again. And nobody likes that. But like I said to Bear, “I’d rather be happy and homeless than rich and miserable.” (But I’d MUCH rather be happy and rich. Let’s be honest.) He is my guiding light, my true north, and I am so lucky to be down in the muck with him.

“You let time pass. That’s the cure. You survive the days. You float like a rabid ghost through the weeks. You cry and wallow and lament and scratch your way back up through the months. And then one day you find yourself alone on a bench in the sun and you close your eyes and lean your head back and you realize…you’re okay.”
-Cheryl Strayed

T-8 days until I do.
#mercuryretrogradecansuckit

 

 

1 Comment on Retrograde

  1. Kathy Johnson
    May 20, 2016 at 1:19 am (3 years ago)

    God is always just in time. Isn’t it so cool the way He works things out when we trust Him and have faith that He is in charge?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *