When you know…

IMG_4261Today is the two year anniversary of our first date. I wrote about it last year, that day I nearly discounted some really “cocky” guy. And since then, Bear asked me to marry him, I said yes, and we bought a house (with two surgeries, two moves, and two new jobs in between…). While chatting with my girlfriend today, I was reminded of that old annoying sentiment, “When you know, you know…”
Now, I’m not claiming to know anything God doesn’t know. And I’m not claiming that a bolt of lightening struck me and left “IT WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME” on my forehead when Bear asked me to marry him. I’m 34-years-old and I’m about to be on my second marriage. The US Census reports that an average of 60% of second marriages fail.
Yeah. Hi.

60%.

I’m a statistics kind of a gal. I like to know my odds of winning the Powerball and my odds of falling off a cruise ship and my odds of living past 70 based on my family history. That looming 60% definitely catches my attention. So, being the human that I am, I do have to look myself in the mirror occasionally and ask myself, “What makes this time any different?!”
All I can say is, when you know, you know…

I know that Bear chose me. We didn’t just date long enough for him to feel obligated to propose to me. I didn’t ask him to ask me. I didn’t even know he was planning on it.
I know that I chose Bear. I decided when we moved in together that I wasn’t leaving, and that choice was made not out of fear or desperation, but out of a certain maturity I didn’t have 10 years ago.
I know that he makes me madder than a wet cat. He makes my blood boil like no one can. And in a way, I like that. He triggers something in me that no one on the planet ever has, and that makes me learn and grow because of it.
I know that he loves me harder than anyone ever has. It’s relentless love. And I know that I love him so much it’s almost frustrating sometimes.
I know that I really can’t even explain the amount of intangible points that make this the person I want to grow old with…

It’s at this point in my life that I think compatibility, physical attraction, and common interests are nice, but they don’t predict much. After all, I never would have picked Bear out of a line-up. I am positive, though, that something far bigger chose him for me. I stuck around long enough to figure out what God was doing, and it was the best decision I ever made. Whenever we get married, January 14 will always be the day we just knew.

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