And Now I’m Weeping on the Couch

I have a not-so-secret obsession with spoken word poetry. I don’t often share my favorites because I feel so darn crunchy-granola when I admit that I snap along if I can really feel a spoken word poet’s flow, you know brother?

I watched this woman’s spoken word, her wedding vows, and I just couldn’t EVEN. It was so honest, so raw, so…long. It’s really long. Almost 10 minutes. I couldn’t believe she memorized the entire thing. But I was crying on the couch within the first 30 seconds that she began.

I didn’t know what she was talking about, mentioning that she’d already told him she’d wait for him, until I read through the comments. And in a “Well, now I can’t get off the couch because I have to spend the rest of the night weeping” turn of events, I realized she was referring to a spoken word she’d done years before wherein she literally REFERENCED the man she’d not yet met but would some day marry. If you only make time for one of them, watch this one:

So I’m not being a super fringe-wearing, flowers-in-my-hair, Ryan Gossling romantic paramour or anything when I tell you this: I said all that stuff she said in the second poet to my mom once. Same thing!

Well, it wasn’t the same thing as in the same poem or the same story, but one day I told my mom, “He’s here. In this city. And he’s waiting for me.” It was shortly after my divorce and I was in a state of COMPLETE and UTTER insanity. I didn’t know who I was or where I was going from minute to minute. I don’t even know why I said it?! Wishful thinking?! But I told her that my person was already here waiting for me and that when I met him I would know what everyone had been talking about.
I did PRETEND a few other people were “my person” who had been waiting for me. You know, aside from that pesky drug problem or living in an entirely different state or actually not caring about me in any way shape or form, they were all “my person.” I tried to force each one into the “my person” mold because, like Janette, I so desperately wanted them to be. So, of course, when my person showed up…I told him to go away.

But you know it has a happy ending so let’s let that go, eh?

It’s not the only time I’ve said something would happen that absolutely did, despite there being no reason or rhyme to it happening. When I started the list in my head I realized I actually do it pretty often. I think of something really important, I decide it’s going to happen, and then I decide I don’t need to know how it’s going to happen and I leave it at that. This has manifested everything from cars and enough money to live on to my favorite vegetable chips suddenly becoming available in my local grocery store. Basically all it takes is believing it’s going to happen and then being open to HOW it happens.

I kinda wonder if by the time Janette reached the resolve that he was out there and she’d find him, OR, she’d accept what God had chosen for her…along came Matthew. Try it! Ask for something, surrender to the way you’ll get it, and then leave it to germinate. No guarantees and no money back. Just a thought for you to try on.

P.S. Seriously be sure you have tissues if you watch these videos. I mean I’m still like a broken sprinkler head up in here.



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