So I went to the gynecologist yesterday…. (Yep. That’s how this blog is starting out.)
What I’m noticing is that the world is not (cannot be, really) made for people with disabilities. I’ll bet when you found out I broke my leg you thought things like, How will she take care of Abe? and She will be so sad she can’t do yoga or work out…I’ll bet none of you gave a single thought to how I was going to get myself up on to the table and into the stirrups for my annual exam at my gynecologist’s office. Well, I’ll tell you…it was awkward.
Lots of things are awkward now. Getting in and out of public restrooms is awkward. Pushing a grocery cart is awkward. Opening heavy doors is awkward. You really can’t know the amount of places and experiences not meant for people with broken legs until you’ve had one. It makes you miss a LOT of things.
1. I miss holding my son’s hand instead of a crutch when I walk.
2. I miss sleeping on my side.
3. I miss going for a walk after dinner.
4. I miss going to any restaurant in the city without worrying about whether or not my leg will fit in between tightly packed tables or if they have a booth available.
5. I miss climbing up on the kitchen counter to reach the top of the cabinets.
6. I miss walking in sand.
7. I miss sitting on the floor without worrying about who is around to get me back up.
8. I miss the sound my feet made when I trounced up the stairs to grab something last-minute that I just realized I forgot when I was pulling out of the driveway.
9. I miss grabbing something last-minute because I can.
10. I miss weeding the garden.
Obviously you can’t know what you take for granted until your leg isn’t what it used to be. I’m lucky because I will be able to do these things again eventually. Some people can’t, or never could. So it’s probably time that I also begin to acknowledge the things I’m truly grateful for during this experience, too.
1. I’m grateful for people who hold the door open for me.
2. I’m grateful for hand rails next to the potty.
3. I’m grateful for motorized carts in grocery stores.
4. I’m grateful for handicapped placards and parking spaces.
5. I’m grateful for automatic doors.
6. I’m grateful for the option of a wheelchair at the airport.
7. I’m grateful for tall toilets.
8. I’m grateful for shower chairs.
9. I’m grateful for the friends who check on me, wait on me, hold me up.
10. I’m grateful that in tragedy there is more time for stillness.
For all of you who AREN’T interested in doing The 21-Day Fix, I’m also starting another 21-Day project on June 15. I’m calling it 21-Days of Real Pleases and Thank Yous. Join me if you wish. The idea is that for as many things as we wish for, there have to be twice as many we’re grateful for. I want to make it a habit to find the things I’m grateful for just as I made working out a habit. This isn’t meant to be a hippy-dippy woo-woo gratitude exercise wherein you have to find gratitude for flower petals or a candle’s flame (though those things are lovely). This is meant to be real gratitude, like how grateful I am today that I got ice cream last night and there’s still some leftover. It’s also meant to be real, honest wishes, like I want enough money to pay my medical bills. No one needs to sugar coat or be shy about what they want or what they’re truly grateful for. It’s not about who has the most worthy wishes or gratitude. It’s about getting real with your pleases and thank yous.