While on The Daily Love-Maui Retreat, Mastin Kipp talked a lot about relationships. It was supposed to be one afternoon and it turned into a 2-day conversation. I agree with a lot of what he said, and also wondered if I agreed with some of it. But one thing I can say for certain is that he illuminated a simple but important fact for me: If you want to have a relationship, guys have to be guys and girls have to be girls. If I want a man to treat me like a queen, I have to act like one. I can’t scoff at a man insisting on opening my doors and ordering my glass of wine for me. Men thrive on the ability to hunt, provide, protect…it’s WHO they are. It’s how they show us they love us. We can argue all day that the two sexes are more similar to each other than ever before, that they should be treated equally (and they should), but we also can’t hardly debate DNA. I remember in my marriage waiting until my husband got home to ask him to open jars for me, even when I knew I could open them myself with a knife or a hot towel. Why? Because it made him feel good to be able to do something for me.
But this blog isn’t about disagreeing over how manly a man should have to be or how much feminist angst a woman must maintain in order to keep her freedoms and rights.
This blog is a rant about fashion.
It’s trite. It is in no way fair and it’s probably somewhat rude. But here goes.
Hey, men – Dress like men.
I get that the whole hipster movement has a new wave of dudes brushing their hair for the first time and choosing pants that show off their butts (and thighs, and calves, and ankles…). I get that men are beginning to put more time into the way they look (mainly because some designer somewhere said that they should and department stores took notice) but damnit. I want to take longer to get ready for a date than my date. I want to have more accessories than my boyfriend. I want to feel like the one in the relationship who chooses spring colors and matching shoes. And I am sick to death of seeing men who walk down the street with teeny, tiny hats. What are those hats for? Are they for scalp-protection? For some kind of religious belief? No. They’re about as necessary as buying a pair of thick-rimmed glasses even though you have 20/20 vision. Oh wait…THESE GUYS WEAR THOSE, TOO.
Men. If you want women to pay attention to you, your jeans shouldn’t be skinnier than ours. Your t-shirts shouldn’t be so ironic that a cat with a mustache is telling us to “Ride a bicycle.” Because we don’t understand that cat, or why he has a mustache, and I for one don’t ride bikes. I have a car. Please don’t wear suspenders with said ironic t-shirt. Your hats shouldn’t look like they belong on infants. If you want to wear a coral-colored tank-top to the beach, fine, but don’t wear it to lunch. And if you, god forbid, are wearing a fringy scarf on a sunny day…you’re dead to us.
It’s not that I don’t want men to care about the way they look; I do want them to. I just don’t want to share my closet with them. Guys, you be the guys. Let us be the girls.