Now that Abe is beginning to use some words (mostly Mama when he’s upset and Dada when he’s THRILLED), we’re having to watch what we say. Obviously he understands a lot more than he can express, but I don’t think he knows what cuss words mean yet. Right? Somebody back me up on this. I’m not too late, am I?
Anyway, as I’ve begun censoring myself I’ve started making notes of the things I’m about to say vs. the things I actually end up saying and I’ve determine I say a LOT of inappropriate things on a daily basis. So I’ve compiled a lit of “What I wanted to say” and then “What I said.” Eek. Not only am I a potty mouth, I’m not too creative. I chose some of the more tame examples for you here:
And we’re off like a prom dress!
And we’re off like a pr-etty baby.
Abe – you are crawling like a bat out of hell!
Abe – you are crawling like a bat out of… a big cave!
Shut the hell up, are you serious?
Shut the helllllman’s mayonaise, are you serious? And can you believe I just said that?
Get off my ass, dude.
Get off my aaaaabumper.
Damnit. (This one’s too short and I haven’t been able to catch myself in time before saying the whole word.)
What’s up, bitches?!
What’s up, bi-iiitty little people in the world?!
This list doesn’t include the time I helped my baby wiggle his rump to “I’m Bringing Sexy Back”. Have you ever really listened to the lyrics in that song? It’s borderline offensive.
Now you. What do you catch yourself saying in place of something dirty?