Oh, the big questions…
Of course, the big questions loom when you find yourself alone. And we’ve covered a lot of the big questions in some of my recent blogs (RE: Who is ever going to love me?!?!). There are smaller questions, though. And they add up. They’re stupid, and they creep. Those little thoughts make you think you can’t do things by yourself anymore, like you can’t figure things out that you used to rely on your spouse for.
Stupid. Little. Things.
How will I figure out how to use a digital antennae on my TV?
Where do I get my oil changed? And when?
What if I can’t open a wine bottle? (This actually happened the other night because my wine key broke. Never fear. I summoned the strength of Hercules and PULLED the cork out with my bare hands. Yes. Where there’s a will…)
How will I illegally download music?
Where do I get empty boxes?
What kind of hardware do I need to hang a picture?
I don’t know how to put this vacuum cleaner together!
How do I get copies of keys made?
How do I put the kitchen drawer back on the track?
WHO IS GOING TO SHOW ME HOW TO USE THIS HAMMER?
The day-to-day got so comfortable in my marriage that I forgot I can do so much more on my own. And I can do it well. I have the ability to figure my way out of any crunch or punishing situation because I do, in fact, have a brain and a sizable vocabulary. So really, it’s just fear that holds me back from solving my own problems. As soon as I begin to try something (and try it MY way I should mention) I realize that not only can I do it, but sometimes better than I thought I could. I’m actually pretty handy, fairly intuitive, and slightly technologically savvy. And when I’m not, I’m surrounded by friends with big strong hands who reach out and offer to help. No, I don’t know how to change the light in the bathroom fixture. There’s a screw up there somewhere, and probably a coil. But I do have Google, and Youtube, and the confidence to try. A little more confidence each and every day.
I even put the vacuum together. And I did it right, for the most part…